Until We Meet AgainTuesday was the last day that I would begin grooming you using the blue curry comb that you seemed to prefer over the black one. Like every other time, I began up behind your ear with my right hand moving the curry in small, gentle circles as it has hundreds of times before. Equally as naturally, I began my usual dialog of updating you on what has happened in my life since I last saw you. The difference this time is that I knew it would be the last time we would have this ritual. You were a gift given to me in early December 1996. Discovered in a sale barn in Tennessee, you reminded the person of my beloved Mackie and twenty-two years later you remain one of the most amazing gifts I have ever received. After your brief career as a racehorse on the Quarter Horse track, you began learning how to be a barrel horse. That’s when we met. I will never forget the first time that I rode you. Even though you had no experience as a hunt seat horse, I instantly knew that you were smart, kind and would always try hard. Your natural suspension made you a beautiful mover and your athleticism allowed you to jump anything put in front of you. I pause before switching to a brush to feed you a couple of your favorite horse cookies. As I began brushing you behind your ear, I realize that I won’t need to buy the largest size of those treats anymore. The tears start to fall. I ask you for the hundredth time in the last few minutes, if you have any idea how much you have meant to me. As I marveled at how shiny your coat always is, I noticed the white hairs that reflect the years that you have lived. I ran my hands over the white hairs on your withers and on your legs realizing that it would be the last time I would wonder what happened during the first five years of your life that caused those scars. A moment to give you more treats and to slowly brush your beautiful face. Will I forget how comforting it has always been to look into your beautiful brown eyes? Jessica comes with your lunch and we head back to your stall. I look at the time and simply don’t know what to do now. The vet should arrive in under thirty minutes. I continue brushing and telling you that I have always loved you. While I lean in and rest my head against your barrel to watch you eat the last meal of your life I worry about being brave enough to be there until the end. A few moments of watching you and I realize that you have always helped me be brave and today would not be any different. The need to memorize the feel of your coat, the contour of your legs and the way you smell overwhelms me. I take photos hoping that they will help me in the hours, days, months after today. Together you and I have lived the most significant events of my adult life – the birth of Justin, divorce from the person whose kindest act to me was the gift of you, the highs and lows of our time in Tennessee, being separated for a few months during the move to South Carolina and finally, adjusting to not seeing each other every day. Throughout it all, you have never waivered in your faithfulness and kindness. At this moment, as I hear the vet’s voice in the barn aisle I realize that all you have ever asked of me is minor in comparison to what you gave me. You are my best friend, my confidant and a part of my family. You have taught me to be a better rider, a better teacher and a better person. I will always regret not making more time for you. I will always wish that I had one more ride. I will always long to hear your nicker at the sound of my voice. The day we first met, I promised you that I would do everything I could to keep you safe and that when the time came, I wouldn’t let you suffer. BH, please know that this decision has been nearly impossible. Until we meet again.
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Megan Taylor
Horses were my first true love and two bay horses stand out as having a significant impact on my life. As a student, rider, owner, trainer and coach I have had the opportunity to experience horses from every side. These experiences have shaped my training system for riders and horses that creates a positive working relationship between both. Archives
August 2018
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